Subject: An opened letter to mister. Fred

Dear mister. Fred,
Your commentations have indeeded bubbled my hearty cockles. Needfull to say that you before adhering under my wisdomfulf wings of english must know a things or twos about me, thats is master Fu. Before descending down to the bleaky plains of this sides of world, master Fu was a happy human staying put with mine family of two more humans (who also bubling my hearty cockles on and offs at my good sense english) in the peaking snowed hills; sinking mine and mine family teeths into the meats of deliciously Riendeers and pudgy seals for our feeds and for ours livelihood hunted the same before- told animals, living ours life to the hiltest.
Then, one finner day as me and mine family of two more humans, thats is the threes of us, are sinking our teeths over again, this time only pudgy seals that out in the blues God gratefully commands me: " master Fu, now yours time has came to descend downed from the peaking snowed hills to the bleaky plains where the peoples are no good nonsense in the language english. I now commands you to bring forths your lights of wisdomful english into the darkenings lives of these plainy peoples." Without any time wastings we byed-byed our homely peaking snowed hills and the pudgy seals and handsome riendeers meats in fitfull cryings and bided ours farewells to them all. So thus i is here are for the humanities servicing of the english.
If, supposed that the Shakespear and Wordsworth were being alive in today then how so much have them benificiatted out of my english. Then their good names have been much gooder in english. Amen. Be, now proud Mr. Fred that God have sented me for your improvings of the languages of english.
Me bye-bying for nows,
master Fu